Passengers of Chance

Inevitably all things are connected.  That’s basic ecology, right?  So during a mountaineering trip, the intrepid traveler will need his faculties tuned, and his ninja skills sharp in all disciplines of life to overcome the many roadblocks and obstacles that will be encountered.  Actually, what he really needs is a sense of humor.  Otherwise, it’s just too sad and frustrating.

Well, ok, things are connected.  So, that being the case, we had a good business class presented to us by Pakistan International Airways today.  All you entrepeneurs pay attention.  Here’s a fail safe formula to a lucrative enterprise as modeled by PIA:

-Charge as many people as possible for a hypothetical service.

-Charge as much money as you can possibly get away with for that hypothetical service.

-Set up rules whereby foreigners must pay foreigner rates (read as: regular rate multiplied by 2.  But also, maybe just make up a new and much larger number when you find out that your customer is: pssssst…. he ain’t from around here!)

-(OK, now it gets really exciting) because your service is hypothetical, don’t actually provide any service!!

Willy Oppenheim, Passenger of Chance

-Never provide the possibility of refunding cash.

-If someone asks for a refund to a credit card, have them directed to the other counter, where…

-At the other counter, inform the customer that they must do all refunds over the phone, where…

-On the phone, inform the customer that they can only do refunds at the actual office or desk where the hypothetical service was purchased.  (Of course care must be taken to ensure that the caller is nowhere close to the place of actual purchase.)

-Hire a staff of employees who are dedicated to the company mission of complete helplessness to solve problems or think outside the box  and who always, always, ALWAYS pass the buck!

-But provide just enough customers with an actual service, (it doesn’t have to live up to what they paid for; just has to cut it) so that there always remains just a glimmer of hope, that maybe, just maybe if I’m patient enough, if I wait in line long enough, if I’m longsuffering and kind enough, or maybe if I lose my cool once or twice with the jellyfish composition employee, that in the end I will obtain that long sought after thing that I paid for.  It has to be exciting, like a roulette wheel.  Has to give the customer a rush so that he or she just wants to keep on spinning that wheel, taking the chance, riding that white streak of electric thrill just to play the game, to be all in, everything on the line and riding all the way that slim emaciated little wraith of chance.

I hear that booking your tickets with the company who did such impeccable role modeling for us, extremely! early helps to eliminate some of that uncertainty.  But I doubt it.

One Response to “Passengers of Chance”

  1. Thanks for keeping us posted. Hopefully you all get to Skardu soon. Dawn

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